I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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