haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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