Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
