apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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