I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
