dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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