i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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