you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
