that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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