that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
