I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
