if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
