Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
