I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
