We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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