And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
