yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
