My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
even my farts smell like vagina
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
