I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Help. Why am I so naked?
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