I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
