don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
