An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
