So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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