If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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