Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
