i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
