just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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