Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
