8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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