Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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