just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
