Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
