Sponge bath it is.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
one might say we're banned from that church
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Randomize
