Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think my moral compass just broke
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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