Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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