We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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