Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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