In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I can't put those talents on a resume
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
