A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
