How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He better not be in your backpack
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize