Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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