Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
