Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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