one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
