It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
