everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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