I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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