You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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