i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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