"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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