Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
