Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
