i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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