I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
