you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
