It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
