Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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