Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
