I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
