I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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