Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
