What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
