No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
